I'm stubborn. If it were solely up to me, my pride would take over and I wouldn't accept help from anyone. I also don't like people knowing anything about me (which, I know, sounds like b.s. because I'm typing this for anyone to read but hear me out). Basically, if I were to go through any of this alone, I would be locked in my room thinking about my debt from medical bills with absolutely no hope of any other medical options. For the longest time, I'd rather suffer in silence than let anyone help me. That's not being strong, that's just being stupid.
The only reason that I don't have to fret about the cost of my treatment, and even have hope for a treatment plan is because of my mom. The woman is an open book. Which is something I absolutely despised the idea of being for a long time. I held on to this limiting belief that being open about your thoughts and emotions somehow made you weak. I was embarrassed to even share small aspects of myself and my emotions to the people closest to me. I had been proven time and time again that this idea was absurd and yet I still held onto these assumptions. Even after years of referring to other people's stories for inspiration in countless self-help books, I loathed the idea of sharing my own. Yet, so many others' ability and willingness to be vulnerable has ignited some of the most imperative growth within me. Finally, after seeing how my mom's vulnerability had opened a new door for me for treatment, I decided that it was time to give up this limiting belief.
Becoming more open has felt absolutely freeing. It's allowed me to connect with so many people that I otherwise would have never even met. Ultimately, what it all comes down to in life is our experience sharing with others. You never know how you might affect someone else by being vulnerable and sharing your story. And It's these connections that really make life worth living.
Letting go of old limiting beliefs and habits isn't easy. It takes a hell of a lot of patience and discomfort. It's been a process coming from a place where I couldn't share my emotions with even those that I trust the most, to now sharing them for anyone to read. And I'm not going to lie, it still makes me uncomfortable at times. The important thing is to not let those feelings overpower your reasons for doing it. Not only does your willingness to be open help yourself develop and connect, but it also gives the chance for others to also. And it's that vulnerability that's brave, not suffering.